Babysitting
by EvanescingSky
Summary: Polska and Liet take Sealand out for a a little shopping and lunch to give England time to work! What is the result? A valley-talking, skirt-wearing Sealand who's already driving England up the wall!


Babysitting

The meeting had been going poorly by Arthur's standards. If one had asked America, he would have said it was going great. Arthur was standing in front of the room, presenting a PowerPoint on English economics in the current world economy when Canada burst through the door.

"Sorry I'm late!" he gasped. "America accidentally unplugged my alarm with his foot!"

America grinned. "Sorry dude! You WAY overslept!"

Canada pinched the bridge of his nose and remained silent.

"Wait! Canada's already here!" Russia exclaimed, pointing to Canada's seat, which was indeed occupied. Everyone turned to look at the person in the seat, whom they had overlooked for the majority of the meeting. England was the first to speak.

"Sealand!"

"No, I'm Canada!" the micro nation cried.

"No, _I'm_ Canada!" Canada wailed. Why did everyone always forget him? Now this puny kid claimed to BE him and no one noticed!?

"Sealand, I told you to stay home!" England launched into a lecture, grabbing Sealand by the ear and hauling the boy out of Canada's chair. "What the devil do you think you're doing? You don't know the first thing about being a country! Which you're not!"

"England, while we all appreciate the trials of parenthood, could you deal with your offspring quickly?" Austria droned, sounding highly cynical and bored. "We have a meeting to finish."

England stopped mid-lecture. He looked around. What was he to do now? He couldn't spare the time to take Sealand home, but nor could he allow the boy to stay here and think he'd won. But thankfully, someone spoke up to save England.

"Like, I'll totally take him!" Poland burst out. "He's mega-adorable! And this meeting is super-boring and pointless anyway!" He sashayed up to Sealand in a huge pink sweater and green shorts, which clashed horribly with his white sneakers.

"Um…well…thank you, Poland," England said awkwardly. He never knew how to act around the strange nation. "I suppose you've done your part for the meeting today."

"Liet! Come with me!" Poland commanded. He grabbed Sealand's hand and grinned at the military fort. "We're going to have, like, so much fun!"

Sealand beamed. "Can I have a new slushie? England spilled mine." He glared at the bushy-eyebrowed nation.

"Like, sure! We can go out to lunch!" Poland agreed. Lithuania dragged himself out of his seat and shuffled over to Poland and Sealand. He didn't see himself getting out of this one. Poland enthusiastically took the lead and the three nations exited the meeting room.

"Alright dudes, let's move on to Canada's presentation!" America announced as they left.

"I'm not done yet!" England protested furiously.

Poland led Lithuania and Sealand to his bright red truck with pink dice hanging from the mirror and seats with white fuzzy covers over them.

"There's tons of room for you in the back, Seakid," Poland said to Sealand, who clambered into the truck with difficulty. Lithuania offered him a boost and took shotgun.

"Why can't I ride in the front?" Sealand pouted.

"Because, like, it's not safe!" Poland replied. "I'd hate for you to get, like, crunched like an icky bug or something if we wreck. Then you'd have a face like stupid Prussia."

Sealand laughed as he buckled himself in. Poland flipped on a Scottish band known as Texas on the CD player. "Where are we going to eat?" Sealand asked.

"Like, where do you want to go?" Poland asked. This month's meeting was in Seattle, Washington, America.

"Hmm…England never lets me get fast food," Sealand said cautiously, wondering if Poland and Lithuania were trustworthy. "Could we go to McDonald's?"

"Like, ew! I hate their food." Poland wrinkled his nose. "Mega-nasty. Who knows where that junk has been?"

"You told him we'd go where he wanted," Lithuania pointed out.

"I know!" Poland snapped. He thought for a moment. "Okay, I'll drop you and Sealand off at McDonald's and I'll, like, grab something from Red Robin to go and meet you there. Sound like a plan?"

"Sure!" Sealand said cheerfully. "I'll get to play on the playground!"

"Sounds fine to me," Lithuania said. Being around Poland made him mellow out even more than usual; Poland just wore him out sometimes.

"Awesome!" Poland stomped on the gas and they sped off. "Like, it's totally uncool that you have to live with England! He's so boring and has, like, no fashion sense! La-ame with a capitol L!" he said to Sealand as they drove.

"Pedestrian!" Lithuania cried. Poland slammed on the brakes and they all flew forward.

"I totally saw her."

"It is," Sealand agreed when his head stopped spinning. "He never lets me do anything fun!"

"I can imagine!" Poland snorted. "Like, boring police alert!" Sealand laughed.

"It can't be worse than living with Mr. Russia," Lithuania mumbled, sliding down in his seat.

"Don't worry Liet!" Poland declared. "I'd have like, totally gotten you out of there one of those days!"

"Sure you would've," Lithuania muttered to himself. "Car!" Poland swerved to avoid the white van as it pulled out.

"I totally saw that too." In the back, Sealand was bouncing up and down on the bench and kicking the back of Lithuania's seat.

"This is so much fun! I like this music too, who is this band? England makes me listen to classical music all the time and no rock or anything!" he said.

"Like, that's practically child abuse!" Poland exclaimed. "This is, like, Texas, a totally awesome band from Scotland! Shar is like, the best!"

"Stop light!"

"I totally saw that!"

Poland pulled up in front of the McDonald's and let a slightly green Lithuania and an excited Sealand out.

"I'll, like, see you guys soon!" he called, blowing them a kiss.

"See you later, Mr. Poland!" Sealand said, smiling.

"Hey, Seakid! It's like, Poland or maybe I'll let you call me Po," Poland told him with a crooked grin.

"See you later, Po!" Sealand threw the words over his shoulder, running towards the McDonald's. Lithuania offered Poland a smile and followed more sedately.

"Mr. Lithuania! Mr. Lithuania! Can I have a Big Mac?" Sealand demanded, his eyes shining. Lithuania shook his head.

"You'll never finish it. Besides, if you get a kid's meal, there's a toy inside," he tempted the little boy.

"Oh! I want the toy!" Sealand nearly yelled.

"Shh! Okay, okay, you can have it," Lithuania said. He got in line to order, wondering if he shouldn't have asked Poland to grab him something at Red Robin.

"Mr. Lithuania! Can I have a McFlurry? Can I, Mr. Lithuania?" Sealand begged, tugging on Lithuania's sleeve.

"If that's what you want," Lithuania sighed.

"Oh! Mr. Lithuania! Can-"

"Keep it down!" Lithuania hissed to Sealand. People were starting to stare at them. "And call me… ." It felt so weird being asked to be addressed as "Mr." Poland always called him Liet and Russia would never dream of paying him the respect of "Mr." He almost felt uncomfortable asking.

"But that's so hard to say," Sealand whined.

"Then just call me Toris!" Lithuania said, exasperated.

"Fine," Sealand sulked. "Toris! Can I have a Sprite? A big one? Oh, Toris! Can I have an apple turnover?"

Lithuania finally got their order straight, getting a cheeseburger and lemonade for himself and a kid's meal, small sprite and small McFlurry for Sealand, who was pouting over the lack of an apple turnover.

"Why don't you go play on the play set?" Lithuania suggested as sweetly as possible, wondering how much more he could take. No wonder England didn't want him at the world meetings!

"Okay!" Sealand immediately raced off and Lithuania breathed a sigh of relief.

When he came out with the food, he saw Sealand talking to a couple of attentive kids from the end of the slide. His sailor's cap was on crooked, like he'd recently slid down the thing himself.

"…we only have a population of four, but we're strong of heart!" He thumped his chest with one hand. "And one day we'll be recognized as a real country! England will have to let me come to meetings then!"

The kids looked like they weren't sure whether Sealand was telling a big fib or not, but Lithuania decided he's shared just about enough with them.

"Sea-Peter! Lunch is ready!" he called.

"Coming!" Sealand came bounding over and eagerly dug into his kid's meal to find the toy. Lithuania nearly held his breath to see if Sealand would be disappointed, but he seemed satisfied with his action figure and set about playing with it while he munched ketchup-coated fries. Lithuania started his burger and then Poland came skipping in.

"Like, hey guys! I got my food!" He sat down with them, drawing the eyes of several parents with his strange attire and loud voice.

"What'd you get?" Sealand asked, stuffing his face with a chicken McNugget.

"I got, like, a chicken salad, because I have to like, totally watch my figure!" Poland said, digging into his lunch. "You know what we should do after this?" he asked, spewing lettuce all over Lithuania. "We should totally go shopping!"

"For what?" Lithuania asked, wrinkling his nose and peeling lettuce bits off his jacket.

"Clothes, duh!" Poland cried. "Seakid needs some new stuff! I bet stuffy Arthur, like, never buys you anything new!"

"Never!" Sealand proclaimed, as if he had just realized this injustice.

"Then it's totally settled," Poland said, nodding to himself. " Super shopping spree after lunch!" he cheered, pumping a fist in the air. Lithuania sighed again. When he was with Poland, he was just along for the ride.

"Po, can I have an apple turnover?" Sealand asked as they were finishing. "Toris won't let me have one! He was being so mean!"

"Liet! Like, what's your problem?" Poland demanded. He handed Sealand some money. "Totally go get one little man."

"Feliks, he can't have everything he wants," Lithuania protested lightly as Sealand scampered off.

"Like, sure he can! We're like, his fun uncles or something! England says no, but we can say yes!" Poland grinned deviously as they followed Sealand inside after dumping their garbage.

"I think we might be teaching him bad habits," Lithuania mumbled.

"Psh! What bad habits?"

Sealand came trotting up to the two men with his apple turnover, looking supremely pleased.

"Oh my god!" A squeal sounded from behind them. Lithuania and Poland turned to see a couple of young women decked out in vibrant and extraordinarily varying colors staring at them. "Your kid is so cute!" the brunette exclaimed. "He's totally adorable!"

"Isn't he?" Poland beamed. The girls began to shower Sealand with affection and gum.

"I think it's so great that you're taking him out in public and everything!" the redhead told them. "I mean, I'm all for gay rights and stuff!"

Lithuania blanched. "No, we're not-"

"I do love my Liet!" Poland cried, wrapping his arms around Lithuania's waist and smiling broadly at the girl, who squealed again.

"You guys are so adorable! I need a picture!"

"Feliks…" Lithuania said weakly. Poland only widened his smile and pressed his lips against Lithuania's cheek for the photo the girl snapped with her phone. When the three finally managed to extricate themselves from the excitable girls, Sealand was covered in lipstick and had a fistful of gum that he tried to balance between his apple turnover and his McFlurry.

"Feliks!" Lithuania scolded Poland as they headed for the truck. "Why did you let them believe we were gay?"

Poland shrugged. "'Cause it was, like, fun! And they were so cute!" He made a sound similar to the squeals of the girls over Sealand.

"They were so loud," Sealand complained. "But they gave me gum! En-Arthur doesn't let me have gum."

"We do!" Poland trilled. "And now it's off to, like, Macy's!"

They piled back into the car and Poland peeled off. The drive was relatively uneventful, aside from several more near-fatal accidents which Lithuania pointed out just in time, only to hear Poland's protests that he'd seen the hazard the whole time. After parking the car ("Shopping cart!" "I totally saw that!"), they headed into the store and were almost instantly assaulted by a saleswoman.

"Can I help you?" she beamed.

"Like, no thanks. We can totally handle this," Poland told her, somewhat condescendingly. He hated people assuming he didn't know fashion because he was a man. He made a beeline for the girls' section and shrieked "Oh my GAWD! Look at that!" He pointed to a yellow skirt. "It's like, perfect! Peter, come here and try this on!"

"But that's a girl's skirt," Sealand protested uneasily.

"Like, so what? Try it on, it'll look adorable!" Poland shoved the skirt into his hands, relieved him of his McFlurry and sent him into the changing rooms. "Come out so we can see what it looks like!" Poland called after him.

Sealand emerged, looking very unsure, in his sailor's top and the yellow skirt. Poland screamed.

"Mega-cute! You look amazing boy! We have to get it! Twirl for us!" he cried.

Sealand spun in a circle and looked wonderingly down at the skirt. "It feels so…light," he confessed. "I kind of…like it!"

"Good, because we're, like, totally getting it for you! It's a win!" Poland said. Sealand skipped back to the room to change, but Poland told him to wait in the room. "I'm gonna grab some stuff, kay? Be right back!" And he dashed off.

Lithuania stood outside Sealand's changing room and talked to the boy to give him some company. Poland returned with an armload of clothing and made Sealand try it all on. To Lithuania's surprise, Sealand started to get into it, twirling up on one foot with his hands over his head, doing the fashion walk and adding his own opinions to colors and styles. Poland was delighted. He bought several hundred dollars' worth of clothing and Sealand left in a plaid dress of multiple pink shades. Poland grabbed a new skirt and flip flops for himself, wearing those out.

"We look, like, totally hot!" Poland giggled. "Are you sure you don't want anything Liet?"

"I'm sure," Lithuania said hurriedly. He was terrified that one of these days Poland would get it in his head to dress HIM up like he had Sealand.

"Oh my god! It's like, way late!" Poland cried, laying eyes on a store clock. "We have to get Seakid home or meany Arthur won't let us take him out again!"

"That would be, like, awful!" Sealand wailed. "Today has been so awesome! We have to do it again!"

"You bet little man!" Poland said with a grin. "You are a major chick-magnet!" Lithuania rolled his eyes surreptitiously. As if Poland would ever get a girlfriend with an ego like that. Poland turned and flashed Lithuania a grin. "We should, like, go get some dates sometime, Liet! It could be an epic double-date!" He bumped Lithuania with his hip. "I mean, what girls wouldn't love a piece of this?" He gestured to himself and Lithuania. Lithuania couldn't resist smiling back and giving Poland a friendly shove.

"Sure. You get a date and you let me know," he teased.

"I totally will! The awesome Polska will get a date!" Poland declared heroically. Lithuania chuckled and Sealand grinned back at them, draining the last of his McFlurry and chucking it in a trashcan.

"You guys are awesome."

When they at last pulled up to England's house, it was getting dark out. England stormed out of the house, looking furious.

"I think his eyebrows might catch fire," Poland whispered to the other two. They snickered and he put down the window. "Hey England!" he said cheerily, trying to head off the Englishman's bad mood. "Sorry we're late, we took Sealand out shopping!"

"Do you know what time it is?" England growled. "It's 6:39! It's nearly Sealand's bedtime and I've been looking all over for you! You were supposed to take him home! Right home! Where the devil have you been?!" Poland didn't know England very well and right now his stranger anxiety was starting to kick in. His lower lip began to tremble. He fought for words, but nothing came. England continued to glare at him. "Well?" The silence stretched on and on…

"We're sorry, England," Lithuania stepped in calmly. "We lost track of time in the store. You know there's no clocks in there? America is crazy." That's it, blame it on America. England would take that bait, no doubt.

"Trust America to be stupid," England muttered, looking away. Success! He turned his angry green eyes back on Poland and Lithuania. "Even so, it was irresponsible!"

"Again, we're very sorry, England," Lithuania said, his voice sappy with the false politeness. "We won't keep Sealand out past his bedtime again."

"Please don't be mad at them j-England," Sealand piped up from the back seat. "They've been super nice to me and bought me lots of stuff!"

England sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Your affection is bought as easily as a lolly," England groaned. Sealand slid out of the car with his bags and England's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he got a good look at the boy.

"See you later Sealand!" Poland regained his voice. "We'll, like, Facebook you and chat more, kay? Bye!" As he skidded out of the driveway he heard England's incensed "WHY ARE YOU WEARING A DRESS?!"

"It's, like, totally cute!" Sealand chirped. "Don't you love it?" He spun in a circle with his arms out. "Po bought me lots of them! Skirts too!"

"Po? Skirts? Oh, Lord." England massaged his temples. "Are those lipstick stains on your face?"

"Hey Artie! Can I, like, get my hair styled?"

"NO YOU MAY NOT! And bloody hell, stop saying 'like'!" England bellowed. What the devil had Poland gotten him into!?

"Didn't you think about what England was going to say?" Lithuania asked Poland as they drove away.

"Psh. I totally saw that coming," Poland scoffed.

"You're such a liar," Lithuania said, shaking his head, amused.


End file.
